Tuesday, October 06, 2015


Although I've largely sworn off comics altogether—given that they've been so thoroughly and disgustingly infected with SJW nonsense—I'm having a hard time letting go completely from a minor hobby that I indulged at least somewhat for decades.  Of course, then I'm immediately turned off by SJW nonsense, and stay away again.  And I doubt I'm the only one.  Online chatter about the so-called new Secret Wars event (no relation to the former Secret Wars event)—which was basically Marvel's version of Crisis on Infinite Earths—suggests flagging sales are responsible for the massive rearrangement of their continuity, rebranding of their properties, and consolidation of their more profitable lines/characters.  If this is true, the reason for that is easy to see; the comics themselves have wandered very far from the movie versions, which are more classic.  Sadly, the revamp doesn't fix any of the problems; in fact—if anything, they're quite worse.  If you thought SJW nonsense was a problem before, check out the line-up of the "All New, All Different Avengers!"  Does this seriously sound like something you want to read, or does it sound like doubling down on exactly the problem that led to their decline in the first place?

  • Iron Man - OK, so he's a classic.  He's fine.  In fact, he seems to have become the new Marvel mascot.
  • Vision - the android is also an Avengers classic.
  • Ms. Marvel - although this sounds like an Avengers classic, this is actually an all new character, a Muslim teenager from New York, with all new powers and an all new outfit, etc.
  • Spider-Man - adding Spider-Man to the Avengers seemed like a smart move.  The most popular team paired with the most popular single character.  Of course, this is sexually ambiguous "black Hispanic" Spider-Man Miles Morales.  Not Peter Parker.
  • Captain America - what every Avengers line-up needs is Captain America!  Except: it's actually Falcon, now in a red, white and blue suit.  Although he may call himself Captain America and Marvel may well wish us to believe that it is, this is a totally different character.
  • Thor - another founding Avengers member except that... for reasons that still don't make any sense to anyone, Thor is now a woman.  Not as in Thor was turned into a woman, a popular trick up Loki's sleeve, I might add, but as in a woman is now Thor.  Permanently.
  • Nova - again; not the original Nova, but his son; a now "white Hispanic" character named Sam Alexander.  And again; a teenager.
Almost none of those characters are recognizable.  Most of them are deliberate perversions of existing, well-loved characters, made all "Diversity, Inc.-ified" via bizarre SJW affirmative action.  In spite of our soi-dissant "elites" doing their best since the 1965 Hart-Celler Act to replace us, Marvel's audience is still primarily and predominantly made up of white male readers.  Why they think that a pathological aversion to showing any white male fictional character in a positive light, to the point where they deliberately replace the white male characters with diversity edition candidates in the same roles is likely to do anything other than turn off their core audience is beyond me.

One splinter aspect of this is the Spider-Verse event and the follow-ups through the post-Secret Wars All New, All Different (i.e., now with as few white males as we can manage!) Marvel is that a whole host of spider-characters now inhabit the Marvel universe.  Although beta-male losers in the writer's seat has made even some of these characters unreadable (seriously; they've even made freakin' Peter Parker unlikable!) I still think that there's some serious potential inherent in this scheme of a variety of spider-characters operating potentially somewhat together.  To whit:
  • The Amazing Spider-Man: now Peter Parker is in a Tony Stark like role as an industrialist and head of Parker Industries, with Spider-Man supposedly as his "bodyguard."  A little girl tells him what to do, and despite the fact that he's a scientific genius with super-powers and years of hard experience, he seems hapless about this.  This is just the beta-male writer not actually understanding how regular, healthy human interactions are done, so I expect that it may yet shake itself loose and turn into an interesting take as an evolved, older Spider-Man if Marvel can get some actual talent in place here.
  • Spider-Man: now with Miles Morales, in the kinds of classic stories that Peter Parker typically used to be in.  Again; if it was already working with Peter Parker, why change it to Miles and hope that he clicks with the core audience?  Chances are it won't.  Certainly I'm turned off.  I do admit to liking the Miles Morales version of the suit a lot, though.  Of course, at least since the combination of the regular and Ultimate universes, at the very least Morales doesn't need to have replaced Parker; he can exist alongside him.
  • Spider-Man 2099: Miguel O'Hara, from the year 2099 when clearly we've been more thoroughly blended with the Hispanic population (although apparently the only thing that does is give us a larger library of names) was a decent character, and he's apparently now stuck in the present.  Not sure where this one is going to go, or if he's going to stay in the modern era or become an itinerant time-traveling Spider-Man or what.  He's a reasonably popular character, though—although it is hard to see what his distinguishing "schtick" is if removed from his futuristic setting.
  • Silk: So apparently Marvel decided that when Peter Parker was bitten by the radioactive spider oh so long ago, the spider didn't die before it had the chance to bite one more character, Korean American Cindy Moon.  Although she suffered a somewhat cloistered adolescence, she's here now, with a slightly tweaked power set compared to Peter.  She even works as a junior reporter for a female JJJ-like character in journalism, who wants to turn her alter-ego into their own corporate badge, the way the Daily Bugle has managed to do with Spider-Man.  So... she's literally reliving Peter Parker's story except as an Asian-American woman.  What; white Hispanic Spider-Man and black Hispanic Spider-Man wasn't enough diversity for you?  At least she has an interesting look—although curiously, at first she just sprayed webs all over herself so she looked like a kinda sexy combination of that girl from the Fifth Element and the Mummy.  But when her boss remarked that her costume was tacky, she felt insecure and had to come up with a real costume.  I kid you not; that was a direct quote of dialogue.  How feminism has fallen into self-parody from the days of "I am woman, hear me roar."  Not that that wasn't pretty darn silly to begin with.
  • Spidey: A series of flashback one-shots with Peter Parker.  Rather than story arcs, this is to be completely made up of one-shots from back when Peter was younger.  Although its supposed to be in-continuity (although taking place earlier in time) to the mainline continuity, it's a little bit unclear how well this one will fare.  Especially since it largely steps on the toes of 1) past Spider-Man collections, the Miles Morales Spider-Man and Silk.
  • Spider-Gwen: an intriguing concept from an alternative world where Gwen Stacy got bit by the spider rather than Peter Parker, and where Peter himself was killed.  It's not clear if she will be a major player in the continuity, or if her ongoing story will further explore her own alternate reality more, or a combination of the two.  It's clear that her visual design is really cool, and she's already been showing up as a costume at conventions and whatnot.  However, simply having a good visual design isn't sufficient to making a character interesting, which is why it remains to be seen if all of these alternate spider-characters can "make it stick" with their own mags or not.
  • Web Warriors: Kinda like The Exiles; a bunch of reality hopping (a la the old TV show Sliders) alternate Spider-characters teamed up to fight extra-dimensional threats or whatever.  Spider-Gwen is included, as well as Spider-UK; a kind of Captain Britain and Spider-Man amalgam, Spider-Ham (I'm sorry to say, since it can't possibly be taken seriously with him in it), the Indian Spider-Man, Spider-Man Noir (who really needs an ongoing series, TV show, or more video games—his levels in Shattered Dimensions were very much my favorites, although he's another that without the context of his setting probably isn't going to be nearly as cool), and Anya Corazon, another Hispanic, female Spider-Man copy, who's got a more mystic source to her power (a shamanic spider -tattoo or something like that.)  There's even controversy on Wikipedia about her as to whether she can be claimed to be the first Latina super-hero; nobody seems to be able to explain how merely being Latino actually makes a super-hero interesting.
  • Spider-Woman: Jessica Drew, from the regular continuity, seems to be the star of this mag.  I kinda like Ultimate Jessica Drew, and I'm not sure exactly what happened to her during Spider-verse and Secret Wars.  In addition, I thought regular Jessica Drew was killed.  But apparently, sometime later this month even, her new mag will ship, and she's in her third trimester of pregnancy.  Again; not sure how being a heavily pregnant vigilante super-hero is a great way to be an interesting story especially from a heavily SJW-infused company, but I'll withhold formal judgement until I actually get a chance to see it, or at least hear about it.  She's probably a knocked up single mom too—but exactly what the circumstances are related to her pregnancy still remain to be seen.
It's no surprise to me that Marvel's movie and television properties are doing quite well while their comic books—supposedly their core business—seems to be floundering.  Hopefully the infection of SJWism stays isolated to the comics, though, because once they his the Cinematic Universe, it'll go downhill really, really fast.  And with the kind of money that they toss into those movies—well, you only need one The Lone Ranger to end a streak for good.

It's worth noting that notably missing from the roster of characters are either of the Scarlet Spiders: Ben Reilly or Kaine Parker.  

Here's a few images of some of the characters that are less familiar that your basic Spider-Man.
Spider-Gwen with the mask off.

Spider-Gwen in costume

Kaine Parker, the darker of the two Scarlet Spiders.


Another Silk

Spider-Man 2099's costume has been somewhat redesigned

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